I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Drake has all the answers
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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