I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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