My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
