she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
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