White coat. Heels.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
