thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
