i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
That accounts for only three of the penises
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
