so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Mom said you looked used
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
