two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
