I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
