dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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