You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize