It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
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