it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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