you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
