Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
