Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
i now understand why vodka
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize