508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
