guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
He kissed a someone with a penis
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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