Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize