For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
