you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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