margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I want to stick my p in your. b.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
