I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
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