Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Randomize