I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
