Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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