You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
