i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
