A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
