i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
