take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
