I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
