I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
This gyro tastes like lonliness
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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