she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
