I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
