Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
