its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
