i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
