All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
