Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
