she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
