I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
We had sex on a dog bed..
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
