Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
