ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
