Slut skills are useful in every country.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
