Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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