HIV tests are more positive than that guy
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
