Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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