I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
