His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
so let's talk penis.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
So squirting runs in the family.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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