If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
