Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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