We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize