You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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