11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
