You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
