The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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