Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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