do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Randomize