Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
now i know why i became what i already was.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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