Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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