well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
