We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
