On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
